There are rewards for confronting fear, even if the confrontation ends with girls stumbling into a corner, sliding into a fetal ball and burying their faces between their knees. The rewards I’m referring to can be hard for girls to recognize if their focus is on failed attempts, their weaknesses, how badly they embarrassed themselves…
Courage want girls to win, but it will not fight every battle. Courage never rushes to lace up its vintage combat boots and meet girls on the frontline of fear for a half-hearted or externally motivated pursuit. It would much rather chill on the sofa watching reruns of Beyoncé at Coachella than show up for…
Nothing. A high school crush taught me that. I had a ridiculously big crush on James*. Bigger than the ones I had on Keith* and Shawn*. The butterflies in my belly swarmed when I saw him, and the only way to settle them was to turn away. But, I never wanted to miss the smoothness…
What had a year’s worth of inquisitiveness about courage amounted to? That’s the question I reflected on a few days before the end of 2016. I had a virtual pile of notes about its nature, variables, development and application, and sifting back through it reminded me about the virtue’s complexity and power. Courage has been…
I was one click away from buying a round-trip ticket to Ubud, Indonesia. An arduous slow dance with Fear got me to that point. I took one measured step at a time and pushed Fear back at the same pace. But, now, Fear wasn’t so moveable. It sat beside me at my desk, shoulder to…
The customs lady asked me two million more question than she did the couples before me. She sensed my annoyance and offered that she was “doing her job,” but the bewilderment in her brows and disbelief in her tone hinted at her personal bias against vacationing alone. My taxi driver inquired, rather dramatically, “How can…
I turned 35 today, and like a few other milestone birthdays, this one brought with it an irresistible charge to reflect on the lessons I’ve learned throughout the years. Here are 35 of them I’d relay to my younger self and other girls. Remember to play. Everyday. Follow your curiosity. Concern yourself more with feeling…
Fear is a deeply ancient instinct and an evolutionarily vital one … but it ain’t especially smart. – Elizabeth Gilbert I read Eat Pray Love when I was 27. The book’s vivid descriptions of Indonesia’s culture and countryside painted pictures of detailed wood-carvings, colorful temples and sprawling rice paddies in my imagination. And I was…
Adolescence, the awkward transition period between childhood and adulthood, gives girls a choice to assert or conceal themselves, and the latter may be easier to do when girls’ body and personality changes intersect with oppressive norms and gender stereotyping perpetuated in social circles and the media. Their fear of standing out or being inadequate is…
Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide. – Marva Collins I spent several moments in front of the bathroom mirror with my hair pulled tightly back, angling my head from left to right, imagining how I’d look with a short, coily style. I hopped up on…