Fear has a coercive way of keeping you focused on everything that could go wrong from taking a single step forward (failure, rejection, humiliation and judgment) in order to hold you in your place. 

But, you know the world around you is changing, and something needs to change for you. You need to take a risk that helps you speak up and move differently.  The only problem is that your fear doesn’t seem to be budging, and as a result, neither are you. That means getting yourself out of this debilitating cycle of inactivity comes down to one thing: building a healthier relationship with fear. 

If the uncertainty of this year has complicated your relationship with fear, consider these 5 ways to get back to a more productive place.

Understand to how fear operates.

While turning your head or burying your face between your hands might be knee-jerk reactions to dealing with conscious fear, you’ll do yourself a favor if you actually pay attention to it.  What you’ll see is paranoia masquerading as power, and what you’ll learn is that fear is not in the least bit sophisticated. In fear’s effort to fully protect you from pitfalls, it also will block your from your potential (if you let it). Fear is not refined enough to distinguish between obstacles and opportunities, so it does the only thing it can do and shields you from all of it. When you allow fear to lead, it takes charge by reducing everything in front of you, the bad and the good, to rubble. Once you understand this operating code, you can gain more clarity about how to adjust and adapt your approach to your relationship with fear to make it more equitable. 

Hear fear out.

It’s hard to listen in a relationship when the entity on the other end comes across as anxious and antagonistic. Even though fear annoys the heck out of you, you’ll encourage cooperation if you take a beat and hear fear out. What comes next is a diatribe about how unsafe, uncomfortable and unflattering the thing is that you want to explore. A new strategic direction. The culture you inherited. Your leadership persona. Your ears may start to ring from listening to the tedious streak of warnings, but there’s a plus side to hanging in there. When you hear fear out, you can start to digest what’s causing the most unease. Fear invites you to look in the direction where it’s ringing the alarm. What you notice may be details you’ve been ignoring or a red flag you didn’t see. Then, it becomes your turn to offer up food for thought for fear to chew on. To be clear, the entrée should be information, but not any ol’ piece of data will do. Fear starts to simmer down into a spell of satisfaction when you feed it facts that help it understand that you’ve got this. You trust yourself. When you remind fear about your past successes taking similar actions, your strengths, your preparation, and your skills, you serve up the equivalent of a t-bone straight into fear’s belly, which can pacify it enough to allow you to move past go.    

Eliminate separation as an option.  

Wishing that fear would simply go away is energy irresponsibly spent because it’s unlikely to happen — not for long, at least. You and fear are like Jay-Z and Beyoncé, Jada Pinkett and Will Smith. You are entangled. That reality leaves you and fear to deal with each other, to commit.  Fearlessness is really hard to reach. You either reach it through rashness (acting hastily and stupid) or through mastery (having expert-level proficiency.) When you mentally remove the option of leaving fear behind, you create space to figure out how exactly to get along. You become solutions oriented. And, maybe that means you’ll need to establish a few ground rules, also known as boundaries. Setting up boundaries could come in the form of giving yourself a time limit to listen to fear’s grievances or allowing fear to come along for your ride if it promises to behave in the backseat. There’s no limit to how creative you can get to make your relationship with fear work when you accept that running away from it is not a viable option.

Have a laugh.

Relationship experts agree that a good sense of humor is foundational to a healthy union, which means your relationship with fear should include a lot of laughter. That laughter, for clarity’s sake, should be directed at … yourself. When you feel yourself spiraling into a loop of negativity because of something fear has said or compelled you to do, pause. And, laugh. Take it upon yourself to release the tension, confusion and awkwardness sitting on your shoulders with a hearty, honest cackle. In the process, you may also suspend the feeling of unease long enough to recognize the irrationality of fear’s hype and give yourself an entry point into resetting the energy in the relationship. 

See fear for what it is.

You’ve heard before that good relationships allow participants to be their true selves. Your relationship with fear is no different. An important question to ask yourself is whether you have constructed fear into something that it is not, preventing it from doing what it does best. When you spend real time on that question, you may realize that your stuckness and stagnation is not really because of fear. It’s because of your cognitive response to how you see fear. Said another way, fear is not your problem. Your inability to manage it is. There’s no doubt that fear can get beside itself and cause a fuss, but that doesn’t mean it’s fully responsible for your paralyzation. Research says that fear “acts as a signal of danger, threat, or motivational conflict.” But, it’s up to you to determine what kind of signal fear is really sending off. Fear isn’t necessarily the red flashing light commanding you to stop, turn around or hide in a corner until the coast is clear.  Fear, instead, can be the yellow light that wants you to slow down and be cautious (sometimes too cautious). This means that, at least, some of the work needed to improve your relationship with fear involves refocusing your gaze and seeing fear for what it is. 

The Bottom Line

The uncertainty and turbulence of the year may have thrown your relationship with fear into a tailspin, leaving you with a heightened sense of urgency to make it better. In your committed effort to work on your relationship, be sure to pay attention to how fear operates. Understanding how it moves will help you tailor your approach when confronting it. You can also improve the relationship by listening to your fear. Hearing it out helps you to have effective dialogue. As badly as you’d like to break up with your fear forever, try to eliminate the thought of divorce from your consideration. Fear is here to stay, so your energy is better spend figuring out how to live with it. Accept fear for what it is. Don’t expect anything more or less from it than what it offers.  And lastly, laugh at yourself when you become overwhelmed with fear. The lightness of a laugh can help you to recalibrate the energy circulating between you and your fear.  

I responds to a caller wondering if courageous workplace change can truly happen after a keynote, one I delivered to this caller’s organization. I offer a candid reminder that transformation doesn’t start at the top. It starts within. While keynotes can spark perspective shifts, real change happens when individuals take personal courageous action: speaking up, stepping up, and showing up in ways that inspire others to do the same. As I put it, courage can’t live only in the C-suite; it must live everywhere — in the middle, on the front lines, and inside each of us.

Mentions

Risk-A-Day Challenge: Meet the Risk-A-Day Challenge, a focused 21-day program for ambitious professionals who often feel unseen and unheard at work. Take one small, strategic risk each day to build a repeatable habit of strategically and unapologetically speaking up, stepping up, and showing up at work.

The Risk Fitness Club: The Risk Fitness Club is a exclusive online community for ambitious professionals who feel unseen and unheard at work and who crave practical tools to strengthen their ability to speak up confidently, step up boldly and show up unapologetically.

Submit Your Question to the Show

Do you need courage to take up space? Take the courage to set boundaries? Step into a new leadership role?

Submit your situation to The Courage Hotline podcast and let me help you. It’s simple. Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to info@candacedoby.com. And, you may be featured on the next episode.

Rate, Review, Subscribe and Share

If you’re feeling this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, subscribe and share. If you’ve got feedback or suggestions, drop a line at info@candacedoby.com.

This episode kicks off with an insightful exploration into the challenge of holding a team member accountable for frequent meeting cancellations. I introduce the Situation, Behavior, and Impact (SBI) model, a structured method designed to deliver critical feedback without triggering defensiveness or escalating tensions. By focusing on facts and clear communication, this approach empowers you to address disruptions in workflow and maintain respect in professional relationships.

Mentions

Risk-A-Day Challenge: Meet the Risk-A-Day Challenge, a focused 21-day program for ambitious professionals who often feel unseen and unheard at work. Take one small, strategic risk each day to build a repeatable habit of strategically and unapologetically speaking up, stepping up, and showing up at work.

The Risk Fitness Club: The Risk Fitness Club is a exclusive online community for ambitious professionals who feel unseen and unheard at work and who crave practical tools to strengthen their ability to speak up confidently, step up boldly and show up unapologetically.

Submit Your Question to the Show

Do you need courage to take up space? Take the courage to set boundaries? Step into a new leadership role?

Submit your situation to The Courage Hotline podcast and let me help you. It’s simple. Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to info@candacedoby.com. And, you may be featured on the next episode.

Rate, Review, Subscribe and Share

If you’re feeling this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, subscribe and share. If you’ve got feedback or suggestions, drop a line at info@candacedoby.com.

Throughout this episode, we shift the spotlight from external uncertainties to your personal strengths, turning overwhelming transitions into an exciting game of exploration and growth. By embracing a scientific framework, you learn to detach from outcomes, enabling creativity and personal agency to flourish. Imagine your career transition as an invigorating experiment that invites curiosity and innovation. Finally, I invite you to embark on the “risk a day challenge,” where taking one bold step each day for 21 days can build a habit of courageous action. This isn’t just about reaching your destination; it’s about shaping yourself through the journey, as you transform challenges into rewarding experiences.

Mentions

Risk-A-Day Challenge: Meet the Risk-A-Day Challenge, a focused 21-day program for ambitious professionals who often feel unseen and unheard at work. Take one small, strategic risk each day to build a repeatable habit of strategically and unapologetically speaking up, stepping up, and showing up at work.

The Risk Fitness Club: The Risk Fitness Club is a exclusive online community for ambitious professionals who feel unseen and unheard at work and who crave practical tools to strengthen their ability to speak up confidently, step up boldly and show up unapologetically.

Submit Your Question to the Show

Do you need courage to take up space? Take the courage to set boundaries? Step into a new leadership role?

Submit your situation to The Courage Hotline podcast and let me help you. It’s simple. Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to info@candacedoby.com. And, you may be featured on the next episode.

Rate, Review, Subscribe and Share

If you’re feeling this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, subscribe and share. If you’ve got feedback or suggestions, drop a line at info@candacedoby.com.

Could it be time to redefine your career path and tap into your true potential? Join me, Candace Doby, on the Courage Hotline Podcast, where we navigate the challenging waters of career decision-making and self-mastery. This episode is a deep dive into the tough choice between sticking with a successful venture and bravely seizing new opportunities. We’ll unpack the crucial role of self-reflection to uncover personal desires and values, while assessing risks and motivations. Together, we’ll explore how societal expectations can complicate these choices and why aligning your actions with core values like autonomy, mastery, or purpose is essential.

Mentions

Risk-A-Day Challenge: Meet the Risk-A-Day Challenge, a focused 21-day program for ambitious professionals who often feel unseen and unheard at work. Take one small, strategic risk each day to build a repeatable habit of strategically and unapologetically speaking up, stepping up, and showing up at work.

The Risk Fitness Club: The Risk Fitness Club is a exclusive online community for ambitious professionals who feel unseen and unheard at work and who crave practical tools to strengthen their ability to speak up confidently, step up boldly and show up unapologetically.

Submit Your Question to the Show

Do you need courage to take up space? Take the courage to set boundaries? Step into a new leadership role?

Submit your situation to The Courage Hotline podcast and let me help you. It’s simple. Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to info@candacedoby.com. And, you may be featured on the next episode.

Rate, Review, Subscribe and Share

If you’re feeling this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, subscribe and share. If you’ve got feedback or suggestions, drop a line at info@candacedoby.com.

The response was dramatic and loud. TikTok critics piled on. Politicians got their comments in. One customer even declared, “I’m feeling like this new logo is ruining my life.” (Dramatic, remember?) But the outrage was real enough that Cracker Barrel executives pulled the plug on the redesign and reverted to the old logo within days.

Cracker Barrel has issues. 
Its customer base is aging.
Sales have been slipping.
Stock prices have been shaky.

The company is likely still trying to move past bad PR from a DOJ investigation that found discriminatory practices against Black customers in the 2000s.

So, Cracker Barrel took a risk.

They tried to refresh their interiors, their menu, and now their brand identity.

But … were they courage-ready when they made that move?

Let’s run their decision through three filters from my Courage-Ready Model. 

1. What is the risk?

Every act of courage starts with risk. Cracker Barrel recognized the stakes. They could stick with business as usual and watch their core customers (quite literally) age out, or try to attract a new generation of diners. That’s a legitimate strategic risk.

By most accounts, they did their homework. They conducted focus groups, market research and brand analysis. They likely anticipated some pushback from die-hard regulars who loved Uncle Hershel and everything he symbolized. What they didn’t anticipate was the volume and velocity of the backlash. Still, Cracker Barrel gets credit here for at least recognizing both sides of the risk coin: evolve and risk alienation, or stay stagnant and fade. Point awarded.

2. What is your reason for taking the risk?

Here’s where it gets tricky. Cracker Barrel’s reason for updating its logo seemed straightforward. They wanted to attract younger customers. But, courage requires a values-aligned reason for taking action. It can’t just be about revenue.

The new logo sprinted toward modernity and the hope of capturing a new generation. But in that hard pivot, it failed to capture what had defined Cracker Barrel for nearly half a century. For 48 years, Uncle Hershel and his barrel were shorthand for the brand’s values of hard work, family, and scratch-cooked food. Customers saw themselves in that imagery, and when it was stripped away, many felt they were being stripped away too. (This is loss aversion in the flesh.)

Imagine if the company had said: “We’re redesigning our logo to better connect with a new generation, and our design will still honor hard work, family, and scratch cooking, because that’s who we are.”  That would have been a values-aligned decision. It would have created more space for Cracker Barrel to incorporate its values into a modern, meaningful design. No point here.

3. What are your resources for persevering through the risk?

Finally, perseverance. When you act courageously, success is not guaranteed. The question is whether you have competence and confidence as resources to weather the storm.

Cracker Barrel stumbled, then started to recover. They didn’t appear to have a proactive playbook for the backlash. They could have partnered with influencers ahead of time to evangelize the new look, rolled out a stronger storytelling campaign, or armed their PR team with sharper crisis messaging. Instead, they retreated quickly, reverting to the old logo in a few days.

This often happens when decisions requiring courage are made with primarily external motivations (see point 2). 

But, let’s not dismiss that choice outright. Sometimes perseverance looks like doubling down, but other times it looks like pausing, regrouping, and returning stronger (Think: Sha’carri Richardson after the 2020 Olympic trials). Cracker Barrel essentially admitted: “We didn’t get it right the first time, but we’re not done.” That commitment to getting it right will build both competence and confidence for the next round. Point awarded.

So, was Cracker Barrel courage-ready?

Almost. But in the words of music artist Brandy, “almost doesn’t count.” They saw the risk clearly. They regrouped instead of completely collapsing. But they failed to anchor their decision in their values — values that both loyal and new customers could rally around. And, when decisions calling for courage aren’t values-aligned, they fracture …

AND … they invite a lot of drama, as Cracker Barrel found out. 

Unlock the strategies to setting healthy boundaries at work without risking your professional reputation or relationships. Discover powerful techniques like the “No and” and “Yes, if” strategies, designed to help you manage your workload while maintaining personal limits. Gain insights into the psychology of loss aversion and learn how to weigh the risks of not setting boundaries against the potential losses you’re afraid of. This episode promises to equip you with practical tools to foster a balanced and fulfilling work-life integration, even when under pressure to always be the go-to problem-solver.

Mentions

Risk-A-Day Challenge: Meet the Risk-A-Day Challenge, a focused 21-day program for ambitious professionals who often feel unseen and unheard at work. Take one small, strategic risk each day to build a repeatable habit of strategically and unapologetically speaking up, stepping up, and showing up at work.

The Risk Fitness Club: The Risk Fitness Club is a exclusive online community for ambitious professionals who feel unseen and unheard at work and who crave practical tools to strengthen their ability to speak up confidently, step up boldly and show up unapologetically.

Submit Your Question to the Show

Do you need courage to take up space? Take the courage to set boundaries? Step into a new leadership role?

Submit your situation to The Courage Hotline podcast and let me help you. It’s simple. Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to info@candacedoby.com. And, you may be featured on the next episode.

Rate, Review, Subscribe and Share

If you’re feeling this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, subscribe and share. If you’ve got feedback or suggestions, drop a line at info@candacedoby.com.

Ever wondered if you’re holding back your brilliance in meetings? Or how to ensure your voice is heard without compromising your authenticity? In this episode of The Courage Hotline podcast, we tackle the art of assertive and persuasive communication for managers who are just stepping into leadership roles. We explore how to champion your team with unapologetic passion while employing strategic techniques to ensure your message resonates. Listen as a caller shares their journey through the maze of company changes, seeking advice on blending passion with precision to enhance the perception and reception of their ideas. We emphasize the importance of strategic reframing and values reflection to align team perspectives and encourage congruent behavior, offering invaluable insights for navigating workplace dynamics.

Mentions

Risk-A-Day Challenge: Meet the Risk-A-Day Challenge, a focused 21-day program for ambitious professionals who often feel unseen and unheard at work. Take one small, strategic risk each day to build a repeatable habit of strategically and unapologetically speaking up, stepping up, and showing up at work.

The Risk Fitness Club: The Risk Fitness Club is a exclusive online community for ambitious professionals who feel unseen and unheard at work and who crave practical tools to strengthen their ability to speak up confidently, step up boldly and show up unapologetically.

Submit Your Question to the Show

Do you need courage to take up space? Take the courage to set boundaries? Step into a new leadership role?

Submit your situation to The Courage Hotline podcast and let me help you. It’s simple. Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to info@candacedoby.com. And, you may be featured on the next episode.

Rate, Review, Subscribe and Share

If you’re feeling this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, subscribe and share. If you’ve got feedback or suggestions, drop a line at info@candacedoby.com.

In this exciting episode, we dive into the nuances of aligning personal values with professional service, emphasizing competence and confidence as the bedrock for taking manageable risks. We define courage as taking risks for a worthy cause, transforming visibility into a journey of service. To help listeners build this courage, I introduce the “risk a day challenge,” a 21-day journey aimed at cultivating a habit of courageous action. This episode is all about empowering you to authentically promote your work, ensuring that your impact reaches those who need it most. Tune in to transform your mindset and start seeing visibility as a powerful tool for service and growth.

Mentions

Risk-A-Day Challenge: Meet the Risk-A-Day Challenge, a focused 21-day program for ambitious professionals who often feel unseen and unheard at work. Take one small, strategic risk each day to build a repeatable habit of strategically and unapologetically speaking up, stepping up, and showing up at work.

The Risk Fitness Club: The Risk Fitness Club is a exclusive online community for ambitious professionals who feel unseen and unheard at work and who crave practical tools to strengthen their ability to speak up confidently, step up boldly and show up unapologetically.

Submit Your Question to the Show

Do you need courage to take up space? Take the courage to set boundaries? Step into a new leadership role?

Submit your situation to The Courage Hotline podcast and let me help you. It’s simple. Record a voice memo on your phone and email it to info@candacedoby.com. And, you may be featured on the next episode.

Rate, Review, Subscribe and Share

If you’re feeling this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, subscribe and share. If you’ve got feedback or suggestions, drop a line at info@candacedoby.com.

You’ve probably been in a meeting where someone starts to share an idea, only to be cut off mid-sentence.

That happened to one of my former direct reports during a meeting we attended together. He barely got two sentences out before the operations director shut him down. Her tone was dismissive, and I watched him retreat into his chair, feeling embarrassed and demoralized.

I could let the moment pass, chalk it up to a bad interaction, and hope he recovered confidence later. Or, I could speak up in real time to make it clear that his voice mattered.

I chose the second.

And, to be honest, things got uncomfortable. The room went quiet. The operations director seemed stunned, and after the meeting, she was distant.

But, something more important happened. That moment reflected back to my teammate that he was worthy of being spoken to with respect and capable of speaking up for himself in the future.

That’s courageous communication.

And, courageous communication is the foundation of courageous leadership.

Look at any list of must-have leadership qualities and courage is almost always on it.

Courage can take many forms, and in leadership, one of its most powerful expressions is through communication — the moments when we use our voice for a worthy purpose, particularly when it carries risk.

If you can’t articulate your vision, advocate for your team, deliver critical feedback, or address behavior that undermines your values, you miss the opportunity to create an environment where others can learn, grow, take worthwhile risks, and do their best work. When leaders avoid courageous communication, they model (consciously or subconsciously) risk-aversion. And, teams quickly learn to shrug their shoulders (read: disengage) and stay quiet.

When we think of leadership, we often focus on strategy, decision-making, and vision. Those things are great, AND they don’t live in isolation. They come to life through language.

So much of leadership is conversation … conversations to direct work, inspire action, develop talent, deliver feedback, and align teams.

These conversations are the real work of leadership. And, they often require courage because they involve the risk of conflict, rejection, isolation, awkwardness, or making someone uncomfortable.

When leaders communicate courageously, they build trust, because people know they’ll hear truth over convenience. Research from Harvard Business Review shows that transparency increases employee engagement and alignment, especially during periods of uncertainty.

Leaders who communicate courageously also model risk-taking. They demonstrate to others that it’s safe to speak up, even when it’s uncomfortable. This is critical to establishing psychological safety, which is a proven driver of team performance. 

And, leaders who speak up courageously protect and amplify diverse perspectives, which leads to stronger decisions and innovation. McKinsey & Company research confirms that organizations with diverse leadership teams are more likely to outperform peers in profitability, and that diversity of thought drives better problem-solving.

Even better, those benefits compound. The more leaders like you communicate courageously, the more your people see and want to use their own ability to do the same.

So, if you want to lead courageously, start with your words. Use them to advocate. Use them to inspire. Use them to develop. Use them to protect. And, use them to model the kind of courageous leadership you want to see in others.